it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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