well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
