marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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