I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
