you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
