What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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