Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
