and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm too high and old for this...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
