week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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