quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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