I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
