it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
