Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Drunk is not a location!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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