I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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