I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize