Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
3 2 1 whiskey
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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