youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
