in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
