# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
