Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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