what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
