Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
