you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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