That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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