Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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