i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
