Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
