Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
