i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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