Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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