I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
