you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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