i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
