i need an iv and a liver transplant
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
