you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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