giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just blew my weed a kiss
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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