lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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