The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
