I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
