I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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