You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
