Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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