laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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