at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
