He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
