No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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