I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
