I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
