Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
