so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fuck appropriateness.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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