If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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